A Song :

Reluctant Groom

The wedding was tonight at eight

But it’s now half past nine,

I’ve gotten tired of waiting love,

We’re both now past our prime.

Whatever time you may arrive

I’m gonna show ya out this chapel door

They’ll be no wedding ring I’d wear

On this expensive manicure.

For all the years of promises

I’ve finally learned the score

Tho you have gotten older...

you sure ain’t more mature

For every time you told me

That we’d marry someday soon

I’ve finally seen the light dear love,

You’re my reluctant groom.

And though you always seemed sincere dear,

I have to now admit,

After thirty years of waiting love

It’s about time we two split...

And by the way that diamond ring...

Though it still has a shine;

Turned out to be zirconian,

And it ain’t worth a dime.

So take your ring and shove it

Where the sun don’t shine no more...

I’m going out to find myself

A willing bach e lor .

I’ve had enough of promises,

We’d marry someday soon

I’ve finally come to realize,

You’re a real reluctant groom.

It’s half past nine and you’re too late my dear

For promises you’ve made...

I’ve ordered a mail order guy

Via postage that’s prepaid.

I’ve waited here for all these years

For the big ‘ I do’ event,

And I’m wondering now, how come my love,

I ever gave you my consent.

I’m kind’da glad you weren’t here,

To finally say "You're mine"

You’re much to late to marry me

Besides I’d now decline

But next time someone asks me,

To marry him ... I’ll say...

“Yes my dear but only if

It’s anytime today”

Yes, I ‘ve wasted time on promises,

We’d marry someday soon,

After thirty years of waiting

You’re too old to be my groom.

My young mail order groom

Will be here very soon,

We’re getting married Sunday

Yes, that’s this afternoon .

chgSchlessel © 1997